POETRY


Why Fear

 

Jesus Loves me this I know, I think I believe it because the Bible tells me so.
at least That's the line we are spoon fed in Sunday school but for some reason I'm still running aimlesslylike a fool.
There's feelingthat breaks the surface of my heart, mind, and emotions.
Ill take all these stress relieving guides, pamphlets and promotions to help me.
Mixing them together to create thispotion that's worry free.
I try to swallow it down, but these feelings make their way back up. and I don't think its just the second time. Because its a little more than a hiccup
Its mean and doesn't take no for an answer, once it gets in it spreads like acancer...
Fear.... There I said it.
Its already wiped its feet off on the welcome mat into my life and started its process. Its hard to process its progress because it goes from silence into loud, from whispers to shouts, that's how it deems its success...
whether its in my mind or my actions, its still played out despite daily transactions. 
I'm not quite sure when it hit me
but its ordered all this fine dining and didn't even tip me.
I'd desperately set the table awaiting the next meal to begin, so it can fill its doubting stomach, just munching on my sin.
I'd wake up in the morning to repeat the same trend, worry after worry now even my confidence was starting to bend.
I've been tripped and beaten.
Fear has left me hanging.......... worn out and cheapened.
You see now that its sat down in my life it has an advantage.
Waiting for my wounds to heal then once again ripping off the bandage.
Asking me to fill up it glasses with the last couple of ounces of dignity that I had left.
Fear..... the most horrible of guests.
but I hear there has been someone else who has checked in. someone whose paid the ransom. The exterminator of sin.  The same brush that painted my life into existence is the same that will grant all of my requests. despite my fearful resistance. I've gotta change these feelings no matter the outcome. He's known asthe highest of highs, Gods only son.
Picking me up after being stomped on by the deceiver.
Breathing life into me like he's wally and I'm leave it to beaver.
This isn't a show but I can assure you Jesus spoke nice and clear.....
And this is what he said to me....
You have value.
There isn't much more id have to say. But I've been itching to let this message out so I'm gonna go ahead and say it anyway
You have value
It was shown when God sent me down to die that day.
You have value
Your worth has been priced out, mapped out, weighed, scaled, measured, sacrificially paid.
So don't tell me that what your doing doesn't matter. don't tell me your not good enough,You have the ability to do great things, I'm not talking about Lord of the Ringsbut i have faith that your one ofthe next Dragons-layers.........so draw your bow and take the shot because the same God, who shut the mouth of hungry lions will do the same to your naysayers whether they like it or not.
You have value
so stop barely scratching the surface, because your purpose isn't defined by your fearsits defined by me your Makers. Blood sweat and tears.
I give victory to my anointed. So stop walking around limping as if you've been disjointed.
That's when I realized that Gods checks don't bounce but fears surely due. Because when you cut fear open he doesn't bleed red, he bleeds blue.
The same color he turns when all those lies hes told you, become unglued.
I try to remember Who you surround yourself with is often who you will become, So who are you fearing and who'sfearing you.  Are you free as a bird or are you caged up like an animal in the zoo.
My Jesus knows best and imma believe him.
Ask Paul and Silas in prison.......... it was HE who freed them.
My God didn't lose the battle to fear and death. He already Beat em.
Imma listen
Because only a stupid Dog will bite the hand that feeds him.
So I'm claiming my victory today, he's changed my life's record from pause to play.
I'm raising my banner higher than before. There is no more trash talking cuz I'm like fear look at the score! I'm not letting my fear drive cuz when hes goes stick shift he stalls its a simple equation cuz when my Lord is trying to get a hold of me.......he doesn't text he Calls!
So in the end my Fear is no more, I've boarded up my door.
Although my wardrobe has been ripped and torn.with my God on my side I don't simply flap............. I soar.
Jesus Loves me this I know. because he told me my fear has to go!


Inside Out


So lets start:
This may be stepping on some toes.
Breaking out the windex letting light into our lives windows.
Welcome to the freak show.
Knock Knock. Bruce Wayne this scenarios about to blow.
Im afraid that a lot of us haven't revealed our true identity. Putting on a mask a visad, making us stray from the true enemy.
We smile so people cant see the real us.
We laugh to cover our true feelings afraid to cause too much of a fuss.
We have been living in an atmosphere where second best is enough.
Maybe if we just settle for what we have, our crew will think we've got the "stuff".
Hey, Ive been there its not easy. Ive thought maybe if I talk sleazy, they will think i'm, cool, chill, life is just breezy.
Maybe if I lie about doing my devos my parents will be happy. 
Maybe if I show up to enough service events all the church going adults will start clapping.
On the outside my life was picture perfect, but on the inside my selfishness was just starting to surface.
To tell you the truth it was getting tiring, One side id be like wow praise God look at me im praying.
While on the other side id be betraying, lying, defying, just trying to get by and..Sin had taken over.
id walk into the royal ball looking so nice and neat, having my hillsong united bumping as if I've never missed a beat.
Im not here to say wow "he's lived it", Im not saying i'v neglected grace.
But I am saying I was there 2000 years ago the day my savior walked that beaten path to spit in his face.
Masks are worn to cover, painting over a picture of a girl who thinks maybe she is too ugly for someone good to ever love her.
Then theres us guys that will say anything absolutely anything so that our egos don't suffer.
So whats the solution...
Is there anything that works.....
Is there anything so that I don't have to give up this sinful life's perks?......
Lets start with the basics shall we, our lives are surrounded by self.
whats in it for me?
How can I get that?
How can I get helped?
Thats where the sin began. But now this is when stuff starts to hit the fan.
You see I can see right through you. The fakers out there. I can see through the masquerades. Acting out all of your lives as if its just anothergame of charades.
I have something, maybe just something a way of life that is proven. I think we may have to change all the compromising things that we'vebeen doin.
Living from the outside in is the issue.
Simply wiping the runny nose of life as if it can be solved with just one facial tissue.
Come on aren't we passed this? Havent we grown up, getting good grades, working two jobs, just to say we make bank?Come on who are we fooling? As if our own stuff don't stank?
Im not going to let this settle because I've watched it for too long. Some of our live have been on repeat playing the same old song.
Cuz the simple fact of the matter is we serve a creator that desires intimacy.
Don't you see its not something we can just tap into by just looking pretty.
We may have to assess the situation honestly am I faking the crowd or am I showing the real me?
Lets start from the inside looking out not from the outside looking in.
If we are serving Jesus with Just what we have left. We wont have enough to give what is right.
So lets change together after being provoked into action, developing a character that will explode some heartslike the most dangerous of chemical reactions. 
Maybe we have to let our guards down,  letting the designer who wants to fill us up till our hearts drown. Do his business.
Why do we always say
"well thats inconvenient for me"
although we serve a redeemer that was slung up horribly on this evil roman tree.
So that ......you could be you & me could be me
Letting each other see.............our true Identity.
So lets get out of this comfortable life we've been in.  You know
The oneswe sweep over,  the ones covered with sin. 
No I won't be happy and yes I'll scream and shout
Because I won't be satisfied until I'm living for my Daddy from the Inside Out.